Take The Money And Run (1969)

This was an early work of Woody Allen's which see's him star as an inept and accident prone criminal. I have to say that while it doesn't match up to some of his later works like Annie Hall, Bullets Over Broadway and Bananas. There is much to like about this movie.

1. It's consistently funny - While some of the laughs weren't sidesplitting, others really are genuinely great. One thing is for sure though- hardly any joke falls flat.
2. It wasn't too long. I hate comedies that out stay their welcome.
3. The supporting cast - You can have a great lead, director and writer (in this case all of them are the same person) but you need a great supporting cast too. Mostly this is attributed to Janet Margolin, who played Louise, Virgil's (Woody Allen's) wife

I can't honestly say that i would buy the DVD, but i did download it and would watch it again should i feel compelled to. I also can't say too much else about the movie. It's a good introduction to Woody Allen films, it's often funny and clever and it will appeal to people with a warped sense of humour.

"He'd have the gang over for a meeting and i'd put out a little tray of pretzels and bullets... i had to. He's my husband." Louise (Janet Margolin), Take The Money and Run 

Romeo and Juliet (1996)

We had to watch this in English class, i had already seen the movie many times before and found it fairly enjoyable. I don't see it as the best Baz Luhrman film (that's a toss up between Australia and Moulin Rouge - I don't like Strictly Ballroom as much as those), it's okay.

Bringing Shakespeare (words and all) into the modern day is hard and this movie certainly shows the strain. Quite simply it seemed like it was trying too hard to make people like it, if something is set in modern day many people wont want to listen to language from the late 1500s. But this is sort of like a charm for the film. I like to believe it plays out like a dream, the way it was shot, the surreal colour and modern setting coupled with Shakespearean language all seem so strange and imaginative that it can't be real.. A dream that many people want. Yes not everyone wants to die at the end but the whirl wind romance and dying for love is romance at it's finest. It looks and feels like a dream that is so distant from reality that it should  lose all cohesive meaning. But the meaning is still there.... it's strange, i know.

The acting wasn't revolutionary. I don't like Leonardo Di Caprio in a lot of things(What's eating Gilbert Grape is about the only thing i like him in because Titanic was boring), but i thought he was really good to look at in this and although the Shakespearean language sounds foreign coming from him, he at least is able to show real emotion for Juliet- Which is all we need from Romeo anyway. Most of the actors (except for the older cast members) sound like Di Caprio when they deliver their lines.

Claire Danes plays Juliet. I haven't seen her in many things, but i think she did great in this. In fact as far as acting goes in this movie she was probably the best. Her delivery seems more natural than Di Caprio's which is certainly obvious in the balcony scene. It's as though she reacts in much the same way a modern girl would react, only in different words. If that makes sense. In any case she was good.

Pete Postlethwaite plays Father Laurence and i just thought i'd say that i like the scenes with him the most. But then, he was good in everything.

Romeo and Juliet is timeless and without realizing it, we see movies following the same/similar plot all the time, i think it's safe to say that Romeo and Juliet is the most remade title in history. Shakespeare was a good writer, he had to have been to be create such a lasting story. However i think i like Hamlet the most because everyone dies. I'm morbid like that. West Side Story will forever be my favourite reworking of Romeo and Juliet but this comes a close second.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Shakespeare is also the most over-analysed writer in history. But that's another story. Maybe i just think that because i hate analyzing things for English because my teacher is overly pretentious.

"If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for pricking you and beat love down" Mercutio (Harold Perrineau), Romeo and Juliet.

My top 5 uses of Judy Garland songs in other shows/movies

After watching the Judy Garland biopic i have been inspired to write down my top 5 uses of her songs in other TV shows and movies. i think her songs were great especially the ones in her movies so that's why i'm writing this, because i like her music and movies.

5. Australia. (2008)
This movie has been treated unfairly and is highly underrated, i personally loved it and thought that while it wasn't a masterpiece it was certainly worth the watch. The film referenced The Wizard of Oz a lot and the use of Somewhere over the rainbow was practically mandatory. Nicole Kidman sings it to Nulla a young half cast boy who has just lost his mother. It was a nice scene and although Kidman's voice isn't the best ever it certainly suited the moment. The other times the song was used in the movie was when Nulla  plays it on the harmonica and when he see's the Wizard Of Oz at a theatre and looks wondrously at it. The movie isn't for everyone but it seems to prove that the song is. I couldn't find the scene from Australia in good quality so i got the original version from the Wizard of Oz instead.

4. House (2004-?)
This is the one that inspired the list. I admit i never really watched the show because it usually clashed with other shows that i liked more, however i took the time to watch Hugh Laurie's rendition of 'Get Happy' from Summer Stock (1950). it was twisted, looked awesome and Hugh Laurie can sing! He must play Henry Higgins in the remake of My Fair Lady. I loved it, but how could i not? It has to be one of the catchiest songs ever. Has to be. Trivia! Hugh Laurie played Vincent Minnelli in th Judy Garland Biopic i reviewed.

3.  Home Alone (1990)
'Have yourself a merry little Christmas' was used on the soundtrack only it was sung by Mel Torme and not Judy Garland.  i am not going to lie to you... i heard this version first. It came out 6 years before i was born and we happened to have it lying around the house so my brother and i watched it. Ever since then i have had a vivid memory of the song in my head and but it was never replaced by the Judy Garland version (damn you nostalgia!!!) Couldn't get the Home Alone version so i got the original from Meet Me In St Louis. Sorry the video is so long i couldn't find a shorter one.

2.  Glee (2009 - ?)
I like Glee, in fact i'd go so far as to say that i'm a gleek. I think it's over hyped and some episodes are better than others but overall i love the show. The duet between Rachel (Lea Michele) and Kurt (Chris Colfer) was no short of amazing and really cool. I heard the song once or twice before i heard it on Glee but the show really reminded me why it was cool. The song was: Get Happy/ Happy Days Are Here Again, which was sung by Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand on the Judy Garland show back in the sixties. I have to ask though: what it is it with me and 'Get happy'?!

1. The Simpsons. (1989 - ?)
In a The Treehouse of Horror X Homer and Bart are on a spaceship headed for the sun, Rosie O'Donnell starts to break into song with everyone else (except Homer and Bart). Bart tells Homer: 'don't worry dad, we'll be dead in five minutes'. Homer answers: 'not fast enough!' and presses eject. The song in question was The Trolley Song from Meet Me In St Louis, undoubtedly THE catchiest song ever, i sing it all the time (it annoys me friends to know end). I think it's just awesome, even if Homer and Bart do not.

The shows/movie aren't really in order of how good they are but these are just my favourite uses of the songs put into random spots, if i missed any good ones feel free to tell me in the comments. I Just though i'd point out that i am a terrible writer and if some parts don't make sense tell me.

"if we can just get someone to pay you for scratching your butt we'll be on easy street" Bart Simpson (Nancy Cartwright), The Simpsons.

My Second Serving of Duck Soup

I watched Duck Soup again recently and have a wildly different opinion. I saw the lines as inspired and witty, in fact i laughed in every scene and at 98% of what the Marx Bros said/did (the other 2% i was shewing people away from my room). I found the songs, while not cute and catchy to be very funny (especially the first song that Groucho sings).

Now i didn't feel thirsty, but i must say that i only ever feel thirsty while i watch musical comedies, while this was musical it's far more comedy than musical and i suppose that my feelings prior to watching it had an effect on my viewing skills, (hence why i always watch things twice). I have written the film down to buy, along with several other Marx Bros films that i think i shall enjoy (and even if i don't i can just keep them in my movie cabinet to look good). It's such a shame the this was Zeppo's last film his brothers, despite his small role in it i liked seeing him there for some reason. *Sigh* Groucho, Harpo, Chico and sometimes Zeppo will always be how people say who was in the Marx's Bros films.

While i still don't believe it was a masterful comedy (although i can see why many people say otherwise) i think if i watch again i will enjoy it even more. This is the kind of movie i like, the kind that i can watch over again and enjoy even more. Very few films make me feel like this. I think i enjoyed it more the second time because i watched it alone, the first time i watched it with my dad who talks through movies and doesn't 'get' certain styles of comedy. So i suppose i didn't 'get' it at first because he caused me to miss bits of it.

I don't think i would recommend it to any of my friends since they think that Disaster Movie was funny so clearly have bad senses when it comes to good comedy movies, so no i wouldn't recommend it to them, but to other people who are way different to them. Anyway i enjoyed it much more the second time and am sure that if i see it a third time (i have to take it back to the rental shop tomorrow) it'll be a joy to watch.

"I'll see you at the opera tonight, i'll hold your seat till you get there. After you get there you're on your own" Rufus T. Firefly

A Marxist fellow who was a bit of a Grouch....

Mr Groucho Marx may be one of the funniest men i have ever had the pleasure of watching on that tremendous website we call YouTube. He is well remembered for the Elephant joke in Animal Crackers.

You may remember that i gave a rather unfavorable review of the Marx Brothers classic Duck Soup recently, i want you to know that by know means does that mean that they weren't funny. It's just i didn't enjoy that particular film. Anyway Groucho is my favourite. He always seemed to have something to say and it was always clever and his snappy ad libs run rings around the comedy of Adam Sandler, everyone involved in The Hangover and Jerry Seinfeld (although i admit to being a fan).


Here are just a few Groucho quotes.... 

• I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.
• Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
• Women should be obscene and not heard.
• Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
• Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
• A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
• If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower
• Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
• Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age

i like the one about the comic strip. So anyway the guy was great and i especially like the way he talked, it was.. well it had that comic quality. Bugs Bunny! his voice had the same quality of Clark Gables that reminds me of Bugs Bunny. Just listen to the clip above of the elephant joke.


i think that i wouldn't have as much respect for classic comics (there once was a time where i thought that Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny were the be all and end all of comedy). I have to say that upon re-watching Duck Soup i enjoyed it far more, i like the songs more as well, so yes i think i like the movie as a whole. This is why i watch things twice. Stand vy for a post on my re-watching of Duck Soup.


"Anyone who says they can see through women is missing a lot" Groucho Marx

Life With Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows (2001) (TV)

This biography on the great Judy Garland is a triumph, it both captures the pain and humour of the life led buy Ms Garland and Judy Davis and Tammy Blanchard (as young Judy) bring her to life beautifully. While there may be some historical inaccuracies (i couldn't name them but with these kinds of movies there generally are) but all things concerned it's pretty good.

Of course, it had it's weak spots like any movie. Dwayne Adams who played Mickey Rooney looked nothing like him and he was pretty weak in the acting category, the girl(s) who played Liza Minnelli didn't look much like her but sounded somewhat like her. During the brief Meet Me In St Louis part Judy Davis (who took over from there on out) looked older than Judy Garland when she did that particular film. In some scenes Davis doesn't look all that much like Garland while in others she suits her perfectly. Case in point the first meeting between Judy and Sidney Luft, she looked very little like  her (although i think the eyes and smile were about right) but in the scenes later in the film she looks just like her and it's amazing to watch.

Cynthia Gibb (of Gypsy [1993] fame) narrates competently i suppose. While i sometimes believe the movie could have done without the narration i think that it was only right considering it was based on the Lorna Luft (what a cool name) book of the same title.

It is often difficult to watch, especially when we see Judy (played in this part by Tammy Blanchard) torn up over Artie Shaw (played by Stewart Bick) eloping with Lana Turner. And then there is the Academy Awards. it's just so sad that she didn't win and what's even sadder is that we all know that she should have won. Of course, no disrespect to Grace Kelly who won that year but i'm not sure that A Country Girl was the particular movie she should have won for.
Butr something that is quite amazing is the sense of optimism and humour Ms Garland had, it almost seems amazing that this person who everyone will always see as Dorothy had this whole other side- the real person. In my opinion there are 3 facets to every movie star (especially classic ones) 1. movie persona (in this case innocent characters like Dorothy) 2. the myth and 3. the real person.

To conclude i found the film difficult to watch in some parts because of how sad it was that such a talented woman could be treated unfairly but knowing that she didn't see herself as tragic and didn't feel sorry for herself comforted the audience (me) in some way. I don't think i would ever watch it again because once is enough but this truly an exceptional movie that should be viewed by Judy Garlands fans, people who like classic Hollywood and well.... i think everyone should see it.

"I got rainbows coming out of my ass" Judy Garland (Judy Davis), Life with Judy Garland: me and my shadows.

Gypsy (1962)

I have to say that although it's no musical masterpiece it has been unfairly treated in the past.

After all Rosalind Russell (who plays Mama Rose) while not physically suiting the part (the real Mama Rose wasn't as tall or slim, which is probably why Ethel Merman played her on stage to rousing applause- because she had the look) anyway she brought some emotion and depth to it, plus she's made worse movies.
Then there is Natalie Wood, (who gets to sing for herself in this!) now she has been one of my favourite actresses since i saw her in The Great Race (being funny) and in West Side Story (miming but acting the hell out of it), so i was looking forward to seeing this. While she plays the title role her part isn't that showy, at the start she is a sort of quiet and timid girl, but as the movie progresses she comes out of her shell much more. Thats character development. She too has made worse movies (Bombers B-52 anyone?).
Karl Malden isn't mentioned much so i thought i'd just mention that while he didn't give a groundbreaking performance it was solid and had some life.
Ann Jillian who played June Hovick (Gypsy's sister) embodied her character pretty fully and i have no complaints.

Now the music is a mixed batch but mainly entertaining, especially "let me entertain you" and "if mama was married."
Dances are fine, especially Tulsa's dance with Louise (AKA Gypsy, played by Natalie Wood), which is a highlight.

To be honest it ran a little long and some parts of it should have been cut, but this is not the fault of the actors. I have to say that it's funny, dramatic, light and overall uneven, but if you're a fan of the actors it's worth a watch. Personally i enjoyed it, i got a bit bored in some parts because almost any scene without Russell or Wood is unbearable (thankfully there are very, very few). And i still watch it occasionally, it's not the best musical comedy by a long shot but for an afternoon watch you could do a lot worse.

"Have a Goldstone Mr Eggroll!" Mama Rose (Rosalind Russell), Gypsy.

Gone With The Wind (1939)

i have just completed the classic: Gone With the Wind starring Vivien Leigh, Clark Gable, Leslie Howard (whom i keep calling Ashley by mistake) and Olivia De Havilland. There isn't much to say about this marvelous film (but i'll try hard) except that it is worthy of every praise and reference it has ever had.

It rarely feels like a film from the 30s, almost every movie from that era i have ever seen has felt like a 30s movie but this one didn't, it felt just as fresh and as new as ever. The camera angles couldn't ever be improved upon, not even by todays greatest directors and i think Victor Fleming was a genius. The only time when i felt like it was from 1939 were the closeups of faces, the falling (very rehearsed) and the annunciation of the actors. But somehow this added even more to it's charm, it's a 30s film with barely any hint of it's time and when it does hint to when it was made, it hardly makes a difference. Ah movie's that don't feel dated now THAT's something gone with the wind.

The costumes and sets were sublime, the clothes Vivien Leigh wore were a sight to behold, especially when the costumes were green, red or blue. Green and blue seemed to match her eyes (sometimes they looked green and sometimes they looked blue) and red suited the name of her character: Scarlett O'Hara (but who didn't know that?). The costumes worn by Melanie (Olivia De Havilland) complimented the humbleness of her character perfectly and although she didn't look half as glamorous as Scarlett there was far more... i can't think of the words for it, well anyone who has seen the movie will know what i mean.
The clothes worn by Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) and Leslie Howard (Ashley Wilkes) were nicely understated and dignified, they added ruggedness to Rhett and respectibilty to Ashley.

The sets were beautiful and rich with vibrant and emotive colour, sometimes they looked painted (a 30s staple) but most of the time they looked realistic. Especially that beautiful plantation by the name of Tara.
A little bit of trivia: my Dad named my sister Tara after that house, what do i get named after? a race horse!

The music was beautiful. Tara's theme perfectly captures the essence of the film, it is about love, survival, hate, friendship, or in other words: life. A life that hasn't changed so much from the time it was set: before, during and after the civil war. Yes there are no slaves and yes no-one says 'fiddle dee dee' but the love/hate relationships and cruelty of living is still here and every time the music plays it is a constant reminder of this fact. The music adds emotion when it's either playing softly in the background or erupting into it's encompassing beauty. The movie would not have been as good without it's music.

Now for the actors: 
Clark Gable was a great one. To be honest i'd never really thought twice about him, i thought he was one of those actors who played himself in every damn movie. But it wasn't so. He adds emotion and humour to his handsome tough guy character, in those old movies it was rare to see such a realistic father-daughter relationship, much less one that is torn apart. He should have won that Oscar, he lost out to Robert Donat in Goodbye Mr chips, which while good, wasn't as good as this.

Vivien Leigh deserved her Oscar. The life in the character of Scarlett O'Hara is greater than any i have ever seen on film. Her wit, beauty, charm, stubbornness, selfishness and devotion to Tara adds up to a tour de force performance. Not to mention those scenes with Olivia De Havilland (Melanie), even when Scarlett is hopelessly in love with Ashley (whom Melanie is married to) Scarlett does all she can for her. Scarlett is the kind of character many people wish they could be like (perhaps so they can attract a guy like Rhett) and in some scenes you love her, in others you hate her and in some you just don't know.

Olivia De Havilland should have won that Oscar (not saying the Hattie Mcdaniel didn't deserve to win but when you compare the performances it's pretty obvious). The heart and soul she gives the selfless and humble Melanie is joyful to watch and it is sad to see her go through so much in the film when she is so undeserving of it. Melanie is practically a polar opposite to Scarlett which is why they work so well together on screen. Melanie is the friend we all wish we had.

Leslie Howard as Ashley Wilkes is a strange thing. at the start of the movie i'm not sure i could understand how Scarlett hated Rhett and was in love with this guy. This skinny guy who really wasn't that good looking, seemed sort of soft spoken and far too different from her. But as the movie progressed i found it easier to believe. The character, while not physically strong looking nor handsome was a man of honor and respect, i think a lot of women want a man who is honorable in the end. It seems that almost any ordinary woman would fall for the Rhett kind, but marry the Ashley kind (not Scarlett though, because she wasn't ordinary nor were the circumstances).

The supporting players like Hattie McDaniel were pretty good. I can't tell you how dedicated McDaniel's character Mammy is to the O'Hara's and how good her all too brief scenes with Rhett are. The little girl who plays Bonnie (Rhett and Scarlett's daughter) was well cast, she had the right kind of face to be a young Scarlett and her scenes with Leigh and Gable (especially Gable) show the family dynamic very, very well.

I've seen biographical movies about real people, but somehow i never saw them as real people, they were characters to me, but this was completely different, the actors made me see (perhaps even wish) as though these fictional characters were real. I think if there were more Melanie's and Ashley's in the world the world would be much nicer.
When we reach the end of this 4 hour film (personally i would have been just as happy if it had been longer) we see Rhett walking away in the mist and we see Scarlett, she should be a defeated woman. But she is there with the camera aimed squarely at her face, she has hope that she will get Rhett back. And we hope with her.

I've seen a lot of movies in my lifetime, not all of them good and i enter some with extremely high hopes, i entered this one with them too and in a very rare moment (maybe even for the first time) i was completely satisfied with a film.

"I can shoot straight if i don't have to shoot too far" Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh), Gone With The Wind.

Duck Soup (1933)

i watched this Marx Bros classic with high hopes of it being one of the best comedies i'd ever seen. It is expectations like that usually let me down the most in the end. And this time was no different. Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Zeppo are all fine in it (although Zeppo seems like has no idea what he's doing), but somehow it wasn't that great. I like satires on war and government but the film seems dated, maybe it's just the 1930s lingo.

The plot is that Rufus T firefly has been brought in to help the country of Freedonia with it's troubles with Sylvania and Mrs Teasdale is with him all the way. I'm not sure it's a plot but i usually don't care about plot, some of my favourite movies have stupid (see: Carefree [1938]) or non existent plots.

When i watch a good comedy i feel the need to drink a lot of water (to keep hydration levels up so i can laugh more) but in this i did not feel thirsty. In fact i watched the 1st half of Gone With The Wind almost straight after this and i felt the need for water more than i did for this (i'll review GWTW once i finish the 2nd half). I'm not saying it wasn't funny, i'm just saying that it wasn't as funny as it made itself out to be.

The musical numbers are hardly memorable and are actually very annoying and weak, the cast weren't bad singers, Groucho's song 'Lydia the tattooed lady' is very memorable and catchy, but thats in another film, not this one. The songs in this are no good and should have ended up on the cutting room floor.

The infamous mirror scene provided a good laugh as did the war scenes and the first meeting between Rufus T Firefly (Groucho, who is a joy to watch when he insult people) and Mrs Teasdale (Margaret Dumont). I suppose the Marx Bros were a sort of 'when it rains it pours' kind of team, either they were drop dead hilarious or stupid. This movie had equal moments of both. I'd still see it again because i happen to think that it was quite an acceptable movie that demands multiple viewings so as to pick up things one may have missed, usually these kinds of films make it on to my favourites list (see: West Side Story, Romy and Michele's HS reunion, The Wizard Of oz). So i will certainly watch again just make sure.

I suppose it wasn't necessarily that the movie was bad- i can think of worse films- but it's the fact it has garnered a reputation that it is a masterful comedy, well it's not. But again: it is not a bad comedy.

"Married. I can see you right now in the kitchen bending over a hot stove. only i can't see the stove" Rufus T Firefly (Groucho Marx) Duck Soup.

Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (2005)

last night I saw this for the second time in my life, i just thought i should clarify (for those who aren't so hot with years) that is the one with Johnny Depp, you may remember that the one Gene Wilder was called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory. anyway this is my review:

Now i haven't got many gripes about the acting, Johnny Depp is as weird as ever in it and i certainly like his interpretation of Willy Wonka. Freddie Highmore as Charlie Bucket was no scene stealer but he is able to put across the innocence and selflessness of Charlie. The other Children in it are all capable and portray the selfishness of their respective characters quite well. Helena Bonham Carter is also in this (in a relatively small role) and she was good. David Kelly who plays grandpa Bucket also fills his character well and has some good energy.

It is capably directed by Tim Burton who always portrays a wacky and surreal sense of humour in these types of films (see: Alice in wonderland [2010]). His idea of Oompa Loompa's was a disappointment though, they were pretty lame i have to say. the 70s version had much better ones. The songs used for said Oompa Loompa's was also disappointing, they were too childish and squeaky, i know that the movie is really just a kids movie but hey that doesn't mean the songs have to be bad. But then again, how can you top 'Oompa Loompa doo ba dee dee'?

Many key elements of the book were left out, but i won't go into that because i don't have a good memory. i personally preferred the goose eggs in the Gene Wilder version over the squirrels used in this and the book but it's nice that this one stayed faithful to the Roald Dahl classic. the burping soda (another of my favourite parts in the original film but wasn't in the book) was not in it. A little part of me wishes that those 2 things were in it even though they weren't in the book- as a sort of homage to the Wilder classic, that's just me. The ending was also slightly different, however i think i prefer the ending of this version rather than the book and the original films ending.

It is quite unfair to compare this to the Gene Wilder classic, it's obvious that it is trying to be it's own film (perhaps explaining the different name?), sometimes it fails: Johnny Depps craziness can only go so far in some scenes, as i said before the Oompa Loompa's are lame, and the flashbacks to Wonka's childhood could've been done without.

I have to say that this does not match up to some of Burton's other re-imaginings but it's not a complete fail either, it is a kids movie with a nice/cute message, but those who have seen the Gene Wilder version (which i'm sorry is much more solid) may not enjoy it as much though. This movie is nowhere near a masterpiece but you could do a lot worse when it comes to re-imaginings of classics. Egad i hate the 90s version of Alice in Wonderland.

"Look mother i'm much more flexible now" 
"Yes but you're blue" Violet Beauregard, Mrs Beauregard

Worst movie ever made? #98

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus sounds like some absurd sci-fi film from the 50s, perhaps in the same vain as Plan 9 from outer space or The Blob. But no this film was made in 2009. Perhaps it should have been made in the 50s, at least then someone would have been stupid enough to see it. The 50s had good films but they had terrible ones like every other decade.

I think the actors want to stay anonymous (i sure would) so i wont name names when it comes to wooden acting (*cough*everyone*cough*). I did enjoy the parts where the actors are meant to show emotion because it's laughable, for all i know they are good actors, but the script is what really destroyed them.

A mega shark and a giant octopus are battling it out for some reason (somebody inked where the shouldn't have...) but they get frozen during their epic battle and wake up 18 million years in the future (as you do.) They keep fighting. Its up to Emma Mcneil to stop the warring beasts who may tear apart the entire world if they keep fighting.

I'd like to add some trivia here: the trailer said 10 million  years ago but the guy in the movie said 18 million years ago. somebody's calender must be wrong.
It's little mistakes and WTF fails like this that make the movie enjoyable. It is frightfully stupid and made me lose faith and monster films for a while, but in retrospect it could have been worse. it could have become completely illogical and had the shark jump out of the ocean and take down a plane... oh wait, nope, never mind.

i wouldn't put in the 'so bad its good' category, but if you want to laugh at a sci-fi film (that also claims to be a horror) that isn't from the 50s (i really have to stop lambasting 50s sci fi, i actually liked some of their stuff...) then watch this. Maybe you could make a day of it  and see the sequel: Mega Shark Vs Crocosaurus. Yeah, thats the title.

"Those guys have been frozen in ice for millions of years, wouldn't you be a little horny?" Lamar Sanders (Sean Lawler) Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus 

Forgotten film stars

There are many famous screen legends who helped create the genres and style of today whom we all remember, but there are some people who barely come up in conversation. this list is of the old pioneers and all the others in between.

Wallace Reid
Now lets see... he died young (31), he had a fairly good looking face and he made good movies. Why wasn't he remembered? He was obviously very popular, just look at the quote by famed director Cecil B Demille"
"The terrible shock of his death shattered the publics image of him, and almost shattered Hollywood"
Wallace was described by his colleagues as a decent man who had no ego, had he lived he could have made talkies and been a big star. The song 'only the good die young' may describe him best. He was in The Birth Of A nation and The Affairs of Anatol (which co-starred Gloria Swanson), maybe he isn't as remembered because he died in 1923, he wasn't 'this close' to talkies, unlike Valentino, He was in a train crash and needed morphine to work, he became hooked an ultimately his addiction led to his death in the arms of his wife Dorothy Davenport in a sanitarium.

Miriam Cooper 
standing at only 4'10 the petite young woman was featured in many popular films, one of which was Birth of  nation (personally i hate that movie because no-one should have to watch a 3+hour silent) and Intolerance, considered one of the best silent dramas ever. She married Raoul Walsh in 1916 and adopted 2 boys, they divorced in 1926. She died in 1976 aged 84 (going on 85).

Busby Berkley
Before Busby Berkley the movie musical was really just a filmed stage musical, but when Busby came on the scene suddenly there were overhead shots and spinning and all those other camera shots we take for granted nowadays. Berkley was the man behind such classic musicals as Take Me Out To The Ball Game and For Me and My Gal (the first pairing of Judy Garland and Gene Kelly). Perhaps he wasn't the first to use the overhead shot in musicals, but he certainly made it popular, and so modern movie musical camera techniques were born.

Dolph Lundgren
It may be because his name is hard to pronounce, but who here as actually even talked about this guy? Maybe everyone just started to forget about him after Masters of The Universe (a live-action version of He-Man). He's still making movies (the Expendables came out in 2010) but lets face it: his best years are behind him and people really just refer to him as the 80s action guy guy who isn't Stallone. I'll give him this thoug: he is one of the greatest action stars ever.

Lon Chaney
Maybe in some circles he is still popular but lets face the cold hard truth: the silent horror god will always be a (to borrow a line from Singin in the rain) shadow on screen, does he deserve this title? definitely not, he was a talented man, but hey, thats the way it crumbles (cookie-wise).. He may be on some actors lists of inspirations but all in all: he's been forgotten by the big wigs and the current generation. For all those people who think that Gerard Butler is the be all and end all of Phantom of The Opera, i ask you to search up this man.

John Gilbert
Everybody remembers Greta Garbo (how can you not when you have such a catchy name?) But when people say Garbo's lover, it can take a little time to think of Gilbert. He was actually a good, handsome, charismatic actor, but unfortunately the studio didn't really like him. Gilbert drank heavily and died at 36. yet another victim of Hollywood.

It was hard thinking of a line to finish this post with, so i thought very hard and i decided to end this post with a quote by an actor.

"My whole career has been devoted to keeping people from knowing me" Lon Chaney, Man of a thousand faces and master of early screen make up techniques.

Top 5 dumb blondes in film

The dumb blonde is a proud tradition in movies that need a cheap laugh, but it wasn't always like this, the greatest dumb blondes are also listed the funniest and best acted, unlike the Blonde and Blonder debacle starring Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson. I will admit i sort of enjoyed that movie because i needed a cheap and easy laugh. Anyway here they are!

5. Bille Dawn (Judy Holiday), Born Yesterday

Admit it: Born Yesterday is a pretty groovy title. Judy Holiday stars in her Oscar winning role as Billie Dawn, the Mistress of Harry Brock (Broderick Crawford) who must be taught proper etiquette. The task falls to Paul Verall (William Holden in a likeable performance that made me forget why i disliked his movies).

4. Linda Ash aka Judy cum (Mira Sorvino), Mighty Aphrodite
Woody Allen finds out that his adopted son is a genius so he seeks out his birth mother: a not-so-genius prostitute. Stars Woody Allen (who also wrote and directed), Helena Bonham Carter and Mira Sorvino (in her Oscar winning role). Sorvino stars as prostitute/porn star/wannabe actress who has an extremely... interesting personality. Interwoven into the film is a Greek chorus telling the story of Oedipus. hmmm.

3. Romy and Michele (Lisa Kudrow, Mira Sorvino) Romy and Michele's high school reunion.

They had to be on here right? Kudrow and Sorvino certainly had the dumb blonde thing down (see: Friends, Marci X and Mighty Aphrodite) but this has got to be taking it to its limits. A funny and shallow script that suits most of the dumb blonde films in the past few decades is what makes this movie so cheesily enjoyable. Blonde and Blonder, while not a remake of this cult classic, is definitely inspired by it. Don't see it, this is better.


2. Lina Lamont (Jean Hagen) Singin' In The Rain

"What do you think i am, dumb or something?" asks Lina Lamont the silent film goddess who is so self absorbed she can't see that she is, in fact, dumb. The beautiful woman with a voice (and attitude) like nails on a chalkboard is the most memorable thing (besides the songs of course) about this classic movie musical. It's ironic that that Jean Hagen (who, btw, had a great singing voice in real life) didn't sing a bar in this musical and yet she is one of the main highlights. Her scenes are the funniest in the movie, which certainly says something.

1.Sugar Kane Kowalchik  (Marilyn Monroe), Some Like it Hot.

I could have included quite a few of the hilarious Marilyn Monroe characters such as The Girl (the seven year itch), Lorelei Lee (Gentleman Prefer Blondes), Pola (How to marry a millionaire) and Vicky (Theres no business like show business) but i chose Sugar because Some Like it hot is one of my favourite movies and besides, it had Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon. Win!

Bonuses.......

• Kitty Packard, (Jean Harlow) Dinner at 8
• Toni Simmons, (Goldie Hawn), Cactus Flower
• Karen Smith, (Amanda Seyfried), Mean Girls
• Elle Woods, (Reese Witherspoon), Legally Blonde (OK, so she wasn't actually dumb but give this one to me!)
• Lili Von Shtupp (Madeline Kahn), Blazing Saddles
• Cher (Alicia silverstone), Clueless

I would have included the above so that i had a top 11 list but i really can't rank them, it was hard enough ranking these ones! you get the idea anyway right?

"See, as the mainspring goes back and forth the bishop keeps f---ing her in the ass. It's a genuine antique and it keeps perfect time" Linda Ash (Mira Sorvino), Mighty Aphrodite