The dumb blonde is a proud tradition in movies that need a cheap laugh, but it wasn't always like this, the greatest dumb blondes are also listed the funniest and best acted, unlike the Blonde and Blonder debacle starring Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson. I will admit i sort of enjoyed that movie because i needed a cheap and easy laugh. Anyway here they are!
5. Bille Dawn (Judy Holiday), Born Yesterday
Admit it: Born Yesterday is a pretty groovy title. Judy Holiday stars in her Oscar winning role as Billie Dawn, the Mistress of Harry Brock (Broderick Crawford) who must be taught proper etiquette. The task falls to Paul Verall (William Holden in a likeable performance that made me forget why i disliked his movies).
4. Linda Ash aka Judy cum (Mira Sorvino), Mighty Aphrodite
Woody Allen finds out that his adopted son is a genius so he seeks out his birth mother: a not-so-genius prostitute. Stars Woody Allen (who also wrote and directed), Helena Bonham Carter and Mira Sorvino (in her Oscar winning role). Sorvino stars as prostitute/porn star/wannabe actress who has an extremely... interesting personality. Interwoven into the film is a Greek chorus telling the story of Oedipus. hmmm.
3. Romy and Michele (Lisa Kudrow, Mira Sorvino) Romy and Michele's high school reunion.
They had to be on here right? Kudrow and Sorvino certainly had the dumb blonde thing down (see: Friends, Marci X and Mighty Aphrodite) but this has got to be taking it to its limits. A funny and shallow script that suits most of the dumb blonde films in the past few decades is what makes this movie so cheesily enjoyable. Blonde and Blonder, while not a remake of this cult classic, is definitely inspired by it. Don't see it, this is better.
2. Lina Lamont (Jean Hagen) Singin' In The Rain
"What do you think i am, dumb or something?" asks Lina Lamont the silent film goddess who is so self absorbed she can't see that she is, in fact, dumb. The beautiful woman with a voice (and attitude) like nails on a chalkboard is the most memorable thing (besides the songs of course) about this classic movie musical. It's ironic that that Jean Hagen (who, btw, had a great singing voice in real life) didn't sing a bar in this musical and yet she is one of the main highlights. Her scenes are the funniest in the movie, which certainly says something.
1.Sugar Kane Kowalchik (Marilyn Monroe), Some Like it Hot.
I could have included quite a few of the hilarious Marilyn Monroe characters such as The Girl (the seven year itch), Lorelei Lee (Gentleman Prefer Blondes), Pola (How to marry a millionaire) and Vicky (Theres no business like show business) but i chose Sugar because Some Like it hot is one of my favourite movies and besides, it had Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon. Win!
Bonuses.......
Kitty Packard, (Jean Harlow) Dinner at 8
Toni Simmons, (Goldie Hawn), Cactus Flower
Karen Smith, (Amanda Seyfried), Mean Girls
Elle Woods, (Reese Witherspoon), Legally Blonde (OK, so she wasn't actually dumb but give this one to me!)
Lili Von Shtupp (Madeline Kahn), Blazing Saddles
Cher (Alicia silverstone), Clueless
I would have included the above so that i had a top 11 list but i really can't rank them, it was hard enough ranking these ones! you get the idea anyway right?
"See, as the mainspring goes back and forth the bishop keeps f---ing her in the ass. It's a genuine antique and it keeps perfect time" Linda Ash (Mira Sorvino), Mighty Aphrodite
I recently watched the 1950 movie Sunset Blvd, i thought it was a great movie with an entertaining script and a well thought out character in Norma Desmond (played with precision by Gloria Swanson). BUT, i never warmed up to the William Holden character, perhaps I've never been a fan of him, I've seen him in a few other movies and it never seems like he plays anyone differently, or even that well, i'd even go so far as to say that he was a wooden actor. Of course this is just an opinion, he may seem wooden to me but may seem absolutely wonderful to someone else.
I suppose he wasn't meant to be the greatest actor in the world nor the best looking (don't get me wrong he wasn't ugly) but in Sunset Blvd i found that i didn't like him at all, he couldn't 'hold'a scene, you know how the actors back then (and now) had to be able to dominate a scene and have a presence? You know, like Bogart, Clift, Dean and Brando? Well Bill Holden didn't have that, his scenes were easily stolen by Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim and the trees in the background. I hope it doesn't come off as though i hated his character, his character had really good lines and Holden delivered them well, but i simply didn't warm to him and the parts where Holden had to show emotion were fails on his part. Overall the movie was pretty good and i'm even considering buying it, maybe i'll change my opinion about him the next time i watch it.
There are some great cameos from Buster Keaton, Cecil B Demille and Hedda Hopper as well, which makes this movie a treat for any classic film buff.
It is also extremely quotable, i had a hard time choosing which line to end the post with, everyone knows the 'pictures that got small' line and the infamous 'close up' line. so In the end i went for a memorable and perhaps even tragic line that (to me) sums up how delusional the character of Norma is.
"The stars are ageless aren't they?" Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson) Sunset Blvd.
